The End Of The Story
by WitchcraftAndTrickery
Summary: "The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death."- 1 Corinthians, 15:20-26. How would your story end? And, more importantly, what would your final thoughts be as it ended? A series of monologues of the final thoughts of the characters of Merlin - naturally, character death and spoilers. (2: Mordred)
1. Mea Culpa - Gwaine

_**This series will be based on character deaths. Big warning. I'm interested at the moment in exploring monologues and streams of thought, which brought me to the idea of final thoughts. Hope it's alright – as I've said, this is sort of an experiment, so reviews are appreciated to know if it works. Thanks! ~Witchcraft**_

**Mea Culpa – Gwaine**

**"_I failed."_**

Pain.

That's all.

There is nothing but pain.

Stop!

I won't tell you!

I can't tell you…

I don't know anything…

Sting. Scream? Maybe. Blind.

Arthur… Dying… Merlin…

I don't…

Please…

Black.

* * *

Eyes flutter open. Dust and tears glue them together. Funny. Never cried in pain before.

The pain.

The wall of it hits; the bite and poison blossoming, the rear back, the lunge, the spike, the scream. Did I scream? _Her_, leaning in, whispering, smirking, commanding, hissing. What did she want? Avalon. No, Arthur. Merlin. They were in Avalon. Why?

_I don't know!_

I screamed. Remember screaming.

Again. And again.

Percival.

My friend. She had him too. He's dead. Percival. Where –

Soft whispers at my ears.

_Gwaine…_

Can't breathe. _I failed._

Tears. Crying? Mine? Not sure. Can't think.

_No. No, you didn't._

But I have. She'll know. She always knows. She'll find them. Arthur. My king. Merlin. My friend. She'll kill them. She'll kill them and kill Leon and kill Percival and kill Guinevere and she'll never stop killing until she has what she wants and what she wants is –

Don't know that, either.

Hands on my head. Strong hands. Friend's hands. Firm, soft, gentle, tough. Forehead touches mine. Never been the type for affection. Feels good now. Don't want to be alone.

Brother.

One word, so much meaning.

Can't think.

Can't feel.

Everything is dead.

Everyone will die, and _it is my fault because I have failed._

Tears, again.

Mine or his?

Remember doing this. Remember father. Remember laughing against chainmail. Now I wear the chainmail. Father going off to fight. Mother and I, standing by the door. Mother waiting every night for him to return. Sitting up by the fire. Hoping every evening. He never did.

I never would, either.

Glad she didn't have to see this. Her only son.

Failure.

One word, so much meaning.

Hands leave my head. _No, don't leave me! Please, leave me… Save them…. Stay with me! _

What do I want? Don't know. Never have known. Just fought.

Fought for Camelot.

My home.

Fought for Merlin.

My friend.

Fought for Percival. For Leon. For Elyan. For Lancelot.

My brothers.

My family.

For Mordred?

He betrayed us. He is dead.

He is dead, and I am dying.

I know that.

I am dying, just like so many I've watched die. So many I have made die.

Do I regret it?

No.

Protected home. Protected ones I love –

Eira.

Loved Eira. Did I? Loved her. Hated her.

My failure. Loved her.

My fault. My own fault.

Want to go. Want to stay. Time is slow. Does time slow down? Colours fading.

Blue. Miss blue.

See red. So much red.

Cloaks. Happy. Blood. Angry. My blood? Percival's blood? Her blood?

Arthur's blood.

My hands are drenched.

I am stained in red, and all I want is to wash it off.

* * *

Brother holds my shoulders. Reassuring. Love.

Getting dark. Panic.

No! Need more time…

Can't see…

Please…

I don't want to –

Black.

I am dead, and I have failed.


	2. Ira - Mordred

**Ira - Mordred**

"_**You gave me no choice."**_

Black.

Red.

Purple.

Silver.

Grey.

Red.

Stab.

Forward.

Twist.

Anger.

Arthur.

What?

No, I'm not –

_Kara. Morgana. Father. Freedom –_

Blue eyes.

Last I see.

* * *

Smile. Goodbye.

Fall. Trip. Backward.

Sky. So beautiful. Miss the sky. Miss the forests.

Arthur speaks.

Always spoke.

Brother?

Dying.

No. Murderer.

Should die.

Just like his father.

Can't feel.

No –

Help –

This isn't what I wanted –

_MERLIN…_

Emrys.

Morgana. She must know.

Queen.

Smile.

Made Morgana queen.

Purpose. Good to have purpose.

I'm sorry.

Feel pain.

Stomach on fire.

Burning.

Tears, cannot cry, must not cry, please, just take me, kill me now, I want to leave –

I cannot go back.

This is all I have done. All I have known.

We are druids, and we are alone.

Magic –

_Magic?_

No. Lie here. Arthur falls.

Watch Arthur move. What? No, killed Arthur. That was my job.

He still moves. Wait –

Emrys. Merlin is Emrys and Emrys is Merlin and Arthur is king and I am Mordred and I am dying.

Wonder if Merlin will save him. He always does.

Funny. So good, yet never asked for anything…

Wanted to be like Merlin. Wanted to be like Emrys.

Couldn't.

Became like Morgana.

Became strong. Became dead.

* * *

Pain is ebbing. Doesn't hurt so much now.

No one cares.

Dirt, mud, rain, blood.

Glad it was this way, I think.

I don't know.

Maybe…

But I'm gone.

* * *

**_These are by far the weirdest things I have ever written._**


End file.
